Quarantine वाले ख़याल!💫

क्वारंटाइन के बहाने इन दिनों घर का माहौल कुछ अलग सा है,
वैसे तो काम कुछ भी नहीं, पर घर की सफाई में ही पूरा दिन बंधा सा है|

अब चाय पर चर्चा भी चाय के बिना है,
दूधवाले के मोहल्ले में कोई संक्रमित मिला है, ऐसा सुना है|

आज खाना खाते वक्त माँ ने कहा “अरे! आज सब्जियों के साथ निम्बू भी आए है. लाउ?”
कभी सोचा नहीं था निम्बू को देखकर इतनी ख़ुशी होंगी. Like seriously Wow!

घर से दूर रहकर लगता था कब सब खत्म हो और जल्दी से घर की टिकट कटवाऊ,
भगवान ने ऐसी इच्छा पूरी कर दी कि समझ ही नहीं आ रहा रोउ या गाऊ!

रोज़ लगता है क्या यह सब वाकई सपना नहीं है?
मौत का बढ़ता आंकड़ा देखकर रूह काँप जाती है यह सोचकर कि लाशों के ढेर में कोई अपना तो नहीं है?

कुछ लोग है जो अभी भी अन्धविश्वास और कुटिल राजनीति के झांसे में है!
इन्हे देखकर गुस्सा नहीं आता आश्चर्य होता है! मौत इनकी चचेरी बहन है, शायद इसी दिलासे में है|

वहीं कुछ लोग और भी है जो सर पर कफन बांधे गलियों और अस्पतालों में दिन रात जान बचाने में लगे है,
जिन्हे अछूत समझकर समाज की गन्दगी उठाने के लिए कहाँ जाता था, आज वही सबसे सगे है|

खैर बहुत हुई संगीन बातें, यह बताओ क्या चिड़ियों के नये जोशीले गानो पर गौर किआ?
यूँ लगता है हमें पिंजरे में देखकर हंसी उड़ा रही हो कि चलो आखिरकार असल जानवर को पिंजरे में बंद तो किआ!

एक चीज़ जो मैंने खुदके बारे में समझी वो ये है कि दुनिया की दौड़ में अब खुदको को नहीं भूलूंगी,
अगर बीच में ज़िन्दगी ने दौड़ना बंद कर दिआ तो खुदसे अनजान होकर क़ब्र में कैसे सोऊंगी?

यह वक्त हमें हर एक चीज़ की एहमियत करना सिखा रहा है,
याद ज़रूर रहेगा यह समय और आखिर रहें भी क्यूँ ना, मौत को करीब से दिखाकर ज़िन्दगी को गले लगाना सिखा रहा है|

-चारुल

Human’s block!

Numb thoughts, brutal lexicon, subtlety in ideas, lack of vigour and lost inspiration!
Are you able to join the dots?
It feels ages since I’ve tried to pen down something. There was this heaviness I was carrying which had soaked all my words and had made me incapacitated to carve the emotions.
People call it “The Writer’s Block”.

It’s quite bizarre. But having gone through this I understand what it feels like. People from all around were continuously nagging me to write and be consistent but somehow I was just pathetic to comprehend with them. Finally I’ve decided to write about writer’s block instead of not writing at all!

Let’s take it from the top. This feeling I’m talking about is depriving and very consuming. It makes you feel exhausted and irritable because out of all the jobs in the world what seems the toughest is to write! The irony is that all your works and achievements fail to comfort and assure you that you actually possess writing skills. You keep looking for hope and inspiration which might somehow trigger you someday. But my dear friends, that just not happens!

Have you ever experienced something like this when you felt that suddenly you had dropped some prized possession of yours? Like your ability to relish the music of the humming birds, to find your cosmos between the brush strokes or to unconciously tap your feet at the music!
Did you feel deceived? Deceived by your own self!

In the rush of achieving deadlines we sacrifice parts of our soul. It’s done so stealthily that we don’t even realise when did all those pearls slip off our baskets. May be because we’re very busy collecting stones.

Just sit back for a moment and understand what have all our efforts come down to in regard to this present scenario of Corona virus all around. The world has come to a halt and so have all our races. We don’t even know if we’ll get to move out safely once again and gear up! Doesn’t it feel like a dystopic dream? Oh yes, it does.
Why did we allow the worldly demands to attenuate our true callings? This is not just about any skill but every relation which we took for granted, our health, our responsibility towards nature and our duties towards the nation which we wilfully decided to skip onto as we were onto “Better things”.

Targets are important in life to give a perspective and direction to our actions but it should be us directing them and not vice-versa. We do have some purpose and aim in life but let’s be realistic instead of going all gaga about it. Analyse the skills which genuinely need your attention. The sum total of those skills is what defines you as a person. Let’s not miss onto that individual atleast.

It’s the human’s block when we feel traumatized by unnecessary loads. Listen to your calling and let’s keep practising the skills and the art of living. Life would be life then.

Sometimes I miss me..

In moments of adversity when things don’t work out today my heart just skips a beat reminiscing the old days when the shoulders around were so reliable to lie and weep. No complications and no justifications! Life was simple and that was it as there wasn’t any room for bedlam.
Life’s moving forth and some close one’s are dropping out. The irony of life isn’t in the moment when they leave or they stop playing the most integral part in our lives but when we are surrounded by a humongous crowd and just wish to vanish for a second and peek into the old pages.
This feeling of being happily lonely is like a lump in the throat which becomes even more difficult to swallow when nostalgia plays it’s game. We definitely don’t want to be the old us but trust me everytime you look for a shoulder, somewhere you’re missing a part of old you whom you had pulled out and dropped off assuming it’s useless.
The very basic idea we read everywhere today is that one should not forget the true essence of happiness and compare it with materialistic successes, still every moment we are just struggling to live that one moment we believe shall take us a step closer to our “Happiness in Life”.
Now there’s no anger and wrath left in the veins because helplessness beckons tears, which right away show up sliding down the cheeks. I know it happens with everyone sometime or the other when our “Coolness” goes on leave and appoints “Helplessness” instead!
All I can say is make sure you don’t tear and crumble your old pages so much that there’s no way left to fix it again.
Everytime life will seem crushing down, visiting the old caves will help you reconstruct life again.

https://wrytin.com/charulchandak/looking-for-my-old-pieces-jxez8zta

I’ll see you. Someday..

Oh! hey.
So, you dark bitch today I’ve got something to say.

Well we haven’t known much of each other lately,
So, in which circus have you been traumatizing people fiercely?

I’m glad you’re an orphan,
No parent deserves a traitor like you even if you happen to be the much desired son.

I look at you with hate and fear,
And plan to push you away if you come near.

You are so captivating and dark,
Who buzzes over me like a savage lark.

How do you manage to englut so much of ignorance,
And still have the audacity to knock the door and put an end to the future tense?

I’ve seen people struggling to keep their love away from you,
But you are a slut who crushes their love forever. So Atrocious!
Phewww..

I’ve hated you till date but today I’ve got something important to talk about,
Shhshh! It’s something really serious. Calm down and don’t shout.

Okay! so I think there’s something unheard and untold about you,
Obviously because everyone who came into your team couldn’t stand in your defensive view.

I think even you yearn for love, care and affection,
Since no one considers you in their list, you snatch love even without a mention.

I’ve also realised that your beauty is the most pristine vision one can aspire,
The love which drops from it is worth putting life over fire.

People I used to admire never said a bad word about you after you showed them your scars,
I’ve seen them crying over your name in the bars.

So “Dear Death” I think I’ve started feeling for you. Someday I wish to be your beloved wife,
But before that there’s allot to be done. For now I’m in a committed relationship with life!

-Charul.

कुछ ख़याल ऐसे भी…

I wrote this poem recently. Generally all my works are in English but after a really long time something struck me and eventually I started penning my emotions in Hindi. I really hope to create some nifty content in Hindi as well in the future.

The poem goes like this…

All reviews are cordially invited.

Cheers!❤

May be it’s not just me!

Strolling alone, I thought about my life’s journey,
Is it just me who has plentisome issues packed in a gunny?

Is it only just me who has become lonely and cheerless?
Because I find no one else who’s hopeless, and dares to reveal their mess!

In this modern world did I miss my train?
Is being an old-school person the reason I’m here alone, searching for my tears in the rain?

Is it just me who finds dead end at every end?
Because I feel stuck and doomed and genuinely this has become a regular trend.

Does my definition of life finds justice in other’s dictionary as well?
Please someone tell me if life mocks at you also when you fell.

How whimsical is it that everyone’s happy, still they aren’t happy when their life is on zoom!
Why are the heart and mind not sharing the same room?

May be we don’t feel belonged here anymore.
May be we fear getting robbed again, on opening the heart’s door!

I want to have a truce with life and settle issues!
Oh! Is it the same problem because of which people say that they are great but still silently carry many tissues?

So hey! Will you help me to deal with life for free?
I’m not paying you because I know that may be it’s not just me!

Dealing with self!

I’ve been trying to bare myself since a long time now. I’ve been trying to understand and give words to what I feel. Everytime some of my words get stolen forever. I’ve lost the understanding of despondence, turmoil and perturbation since everything is just the same for me now.
Numbness.
Crumbled bleak life.

What if someday I just loose my ability to feel the intensities of life?
What if the doomsday comes to my rescue and asks me to walk the dark aisle with it? What if I never meet hope and spend my entire life cantankerously, trying to settle my relationship with patience?
I’ve been trying to look for some congenial comrade and at the same moment I’ve been trying to live all by myself.
Such a pandemonium situation it is!
Our own self works head over heels to nauseate every breath that goes in.
We superfluously botch up things and relationships and then sit hapless under the midnight’s moon, cursing it for taking away all the stars.
We simply forget about the fiend who stays on lease under the skin and then we inculpate the destiny and the effing world who honestly has no interest in our lives.
Why do you think the world is after you?
Why do you consider yourself a carved model of sanctity who is above all the profane norms?

Dear, it isn’t like that.

Just peal off your tenuous skin. You simply don’t deserve it. Own up to everything you have been doing with yourself because the concomitant of all your deeds is the world you are surrounded by today!
Stop blaming it for chopping your dreams into smithereens because you yourself gifted it when you were high!

It’s very simple. You are prudent for everthing you are doing with your life and hence you need to own up to this.
Else take more years and kill your time cursing people and the ‘ Bad World’, as you say. But just remember everyday you are walking on your life’s road and you actually don’t know how long it is.
Just beware and get things sorted because you may even encounter the dead end at the next turn!

– Charul

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