The Owlet.

What is it that you’re ogling at?

Is it the charisma of the world or its dearth?

The wonders it comprehends or the abysmal obscenity it rears?

Are you shocked at the inhumanity of humans or amazed seeing the talent of making even the inanimate objects work?

Maybe you’re flabbergasted seeing the hypocrisy we incorporate!

Maybe you’re astounded seeing our physical evolution and emotionally devolution.

Maybe you’re just worried for our future generation. What values will they get from the already hollow conscience of ours?!

Or will they even get any?

What is it that you’re ogling at?

Do you still consider us to be any worthy?

Maybe we’re just fragile pieces of flesh who’ve unlearned humanity!

-Charul.

I miss us.

I miss us.
As I’m heading
towards the
autumn, I miss
the colourful
face of spring.
The basking sunlight,
the spooning
of wind
as it danced to
the beats of
falling leaves.

I miss his
carefree laughter,
his wide smile,
his glistening eyes,
his orange shirt
which he wrapped
around me
every evening before
leaving.
I miss his warm
pecks and being
called “sunkissed” again.

Pain isn’t in
the pale autumn
but
the lost spring.
Pain isn’t in
your leaving,
but your staying
as not yourself
anymore!
You’re still there.
But your airy
charm for
the introvert buds
has become
dreadful!

I see ’em
pleading with
you to be a
little less
fierce.
I see ’em
narrating their
stories of the
good old times
when the air
was pink all
around.
I see them
crying their
heart out until
they die and
become a bookmark!

I don’t hate
you.
Trust me I don’t!
Afterall you’ve seen me
bloom
unwrap
blush and also
wither!
I just hope
your love during
spring
was a little less
sweet for me
to easily chug the
brutal ignorance
you gifted me
during autumn.

Huh.

I miss us.

-Charul.

The metamorphosis of childhood into a scarred adulthood.

The movie Chemical Hearts by Writer-Director Richard Tanne is a well-marked adaptation of the book “Chemical Hearts” by Krystal Sutherland. We get to travel through the story from the point of view of Henry Page (Austin Abrams) who was leading a humdrum perfect life per se. With chirpy friends and loving family all around, he missed that spark which would add fodder to his emotions and chisel his words as a writer, until our female protagonist Grace Town (Lili Reinhart) makes a way into his life. Grace joins Henry’s school as an exchange student and partners him as an editor for the school newspaper.

Initially, Grace is quite reluctant to contribute and unwrap herself in the new community. She doesn’t want to write anymore. Henry on the other hand is quite sure that she has a myriad of sparkling words and emotions in store. He surreptitiously spies over her and finds out about her murky past where she lost her boyfriend in a car accident and also hurt her knee gruesomely!
Here’s when we start undoing the knots. Henry tries to fix her broken past but we get to see that Grace is quite messed up to let him in or simply let him go. She expresses vividly how the tragedies and bruises you get while growing up can puncture a part of your old self, eventually forming the new YOU! Inspired by this very emotion they carve out the theme of the newspaper- “Teenage Limbo”.
As the movie progressed, I could see a reflection of my life in it. For Grace it was ‘death’ which crumbled and crushed her teenage innocence. For us it can be failure, heartbreak, loneliness, depression or any emotion which literally jerked off the simplicity of childhood. Adulting isn’t easy as you get to witness a plethora of emotions of all sorts which takes away a part of your boisterous teenage, rips you apart and finally leaves you in a dampen battlefield called adulthood! Tired. Confused. Flabbergasted. Insecure. Terrified. Despondent. Amazed!
“Adults are just scarred kids who’re lucky enough to make it out of teenage limbo, alive.”
-Grace.
Moving on is so tough, then imagine how tough would it be to let that charming phase go off, when you were conditioned to express and speak up until you actually started doing so and were asked to shut up then! Because this is how it is.
When you try piercing through the many layers of this film, you shall experience that uncomfortable pull which drew your teenage away. A complete state of oblivion where you’re so unaware of what you’re actually feeling. Grace couldn’t understand what she really wanted. One moment she wanted to move on in life with Henry like a mature adult and the other moment she gave up everything to live in her dead boyfriend’s room with all the filthy and painful memories. Do you get this uncertainty and hopelessness where probably you feel nobody or even your old self isn’t able to understand what you’re actually going through? But hey, look around. Your parents, elder siblings and everyone out there on the street has juggled through this phase. They did hurt themselves many times but finally made through it somehow.
“Scars are not the reminders of what’s been broken, but what’s been created!”
-Henry

It was really traumatizing for Grace to let her old happy self go away and come to terms with the new one. Let’s be a little more compassionate and considerate towards each other as we make through this journey.
The underlining thought in the film is to address, understand and accept the changes life brings. Learning to be comfortable around the uncomfortable emotions which were never felt or experienced before!
“I know it’s a dark dungeon, but let’s just be travel partners together until we see the light. What say?”
-Charul.

Quarantine वाले ख़याल!💫

क्वारंटाइन के बहाने इन दिनों घर का माहौल कुछ अलग सा है,
वैसे तो काम कुछ भी नहीं, पर घर की सफाई में ही पूरा दिन बंधा सा है|

अब चाय पर चर्चा भी चाय के बिना है,
दूधवाले के मोहल्ले में कोई संक्रमित मिला है, ऐसा सुना है|

आज खाना खाते वक्त माँ ने कहा “अरे! आज सब्जियों के साथ निम्बू भी आए है. लाउ?”
कभी सोचा नहीं था निम्बू को देखकर इतनी ख़ुशी होंगी. Like seriously Wow!

घर से दूर रहकर लगता था कब सब खत्म हो और जल्दी से घर की टिकट कटवाऊ,
भगवान ने ऐसी इच्छा पूरी कर दी कि समझ ही नहीं आ रहा रोउ या गाऊ!

रोज़ लगता है क्या यह सब वाकई सपना नहीं है?
मौत का बढ़ता आंकड़ा देखकर रूह काँप जाती है यह सोचकर कि लाशों के ढेर में कोई अपना तो नहीं है?

कुछ लोग है जो अभी भी अन्धविश्वास और कुटिल राजनीति के झांसे में है!
इन्हे देखकर गुस्सा नहीं आता आश्चर्य होता है! मौत इनकी चचेरी बहन है, शायद इसी दिलासे में है|

वहीं कुछ लोग और भी है जो सर पर कफन बांधे गलियों और अस्पतालों में दिन रात जान बचाने में लगे है,
जिन्हे अछूत समझकर समाज की गन्दगी उठाने के लिए कहाँ जाता था, आज वही सबसे सगे है|

खैर बहुत हुई संगीन बातें, यह बताओ क्या चिड़ियों के नये जोशीले गानो पर गौर किआ?
यूँ लगता है हमें पिंजरे में देखकर हंसी उड़ा रही हो कि चलो आखिरकार असल जानवर को पिंजरे में बंद तो किआ!

एक चीज़ जो मैंने खुदके बारे में समझी वो ये है कि दुनिया की दौड़ में अब खुदको को नहीं भूलूंगी,
अगर बीच में ज़िन्दगी ने दौड़ना बंद कर दिआ तो खुदसे अनजान होकर क़ब्र में कैसे सोऊंगी?

यह वक्त हमें हर एक चीज़ की एहमियत करना सिखा रहा है,
याद ज़रूर रहेगा यह समय और आखिर रहें भी क्यूँ ना, मौत को करीब से दिखाकर ज़िन्दगी को गले लगाना सिखा रहा है|

-चारुल

Human’s block!

Numb thoughts, brutal lexicon, subtlety in ideas, lack of vigour and lost inspiration!
Are you able to join the dots?
It feels ages since I’ve tried to pen down something. There was this heaviness I was carrying which had soaked all my words and had made me incapacitated to carve the emotions.
People call it “The Writer’s Block”.

It’s quite bizarre. But having gone through this I understand what it feels like. People from all around were continuously nagging me to write and be consistent but somehow I was just pathetic to comprehend with them. Finally I’ve decided to write about writer’s block instead of not writing at all!

Let’s take it from the top. This feeling I’m talking about is depriving and very consuming. It makes you feel exhausted and irritable because out of all the jobs in the world what seems the toughest is to write! The irony is that all your works and achievements fail to comfort and assure you that you actually possess writing skills. You keep looking for hope and inspiration which might somehow trigger you someday. But my dear friends, that just not happens!

Have you ever experienced something like this when you felt that suddenly you had dropped some prized possession of yours? Like your ability to relish the music of the humming birds, to find your cosmos between the brush strokes or to unconciously tap your feet at the music!
Did you feel deceived? Deceived by your own self!

In the rush of achieving deadlines we sacrifice parts of our soul. It’s done so stealthily that we don’t even realise when did all those pearls slip off our baskets. May be because we’re very busy collecting stones.

Just sit back for a moment and understand what have all our efforts come down to in regard to this present scenario of Corona virus all around. The world has come to a halt and so have all our races. We don’t even know if we’ll get to move out safely once again and gear up! Doesn’t it feel like a dystopic dream? Oh yes, it does.
Why did we allow the worldly demands to attenuate our true callings? This is not just about any skill but every relation which we took for granted, our health, our responsibility towards nature and our duties towards the nation which we wilfully decided to skip onto as we were onto “Better things”.

Targets are important in life to give a perspective and direction to our actions but it should be us directing them and not vice-versa. We do have some purpose and aim in life but let’s be realistic instead of going all gaga about it. Analyse the skills which genuinely need your attention. The sum total of those skills is what defines you as a person. Let’s not miss onto that individual atleast.

It’s the human’s block when we feel traumatized by unnecessary loads. Listen to your calling and let’s keep practising the skills and the art of living. Life would be life then.

Sometimes I miss me..

In moments of adversity when things don’t work out today my heart just skips a beat reminiscing the old days when the shoulders around were so reliable to lie and weep. No complications and no justifications! Life was simple and that was it as there wasn’t any room for bedlam.
Life’s moving forth and some close one’s are dropping out. The irony of life isn’t in the moment when they leave or they stop playing the most integral part in our lives but when we are surrounded by a humongous crowd and just wish to vanish for a second and peek into the old pages.
This feeling of being happily lonely is like a lump in the throat which becomes even more difficult to swallow when nostalgia plays it’s game. We definitely don’t want to be the old us but trust me everytime you look for a shoulder, somewhere you’re missing a part of old you whom you had pulled out and dropped off assuming it’s useless.
The very basic idea we read everywhere today is that one should not forget the true essence of happiness and compare it with materialistic successes, still every moment we are just struggling to live that one moment we believe shall take us a step closer to our “Happiness in Life”.
Now there’s no anger and wrath left in the veins because helplessness beckons tears, which right away show up sliding down the cheeks. I know it happens with everyone sometime or the other when our “Coolness” goes on leave and appoints “Helplessness” instead!
All I can say is make sure you don’t tear and crumble your old pages so much that there’s no way left to fix it again.
Everytime life will seem crushing down, visiting the old caves will help you reconstruct life again.

https://wrytin.com/charulchandak/looking-for-my-old-pieces-jxez8zta

I’ll see you. Someday..

Oh! hey.
So, you dark bitch today I’ve got something to say.

Well we haven’t known much of each other lately,
So, in which circus have you been traumatizing people fiercely?

I’m glad you’re an orphan,
No parent deserves a traitor like you even if you happen to be the much desired son.

I look at you with hate and fear,
And plan to push you away if you come near.

You are so captivating and dark,
Who buzzes over me like a savage lark.

How do you manage to englut so much of ignorance,
And still have the audacity to knock the door and put an end to the future tense?

I’ve seen people struggling to keep their love away from you,
But you are a slut who crushes their love forever. So Atrocious!
Phewww..

I’ve hated you till date but today I’ve got something important to talk about,
Shhshh! It’s something really serious. Calm down and don’t shout.

Okay! so I think there’s something unheard and untold about you,
Obviously because everyone who came into your team couldn’t stand in your defensive view.

I think even you yearn for love, care and affection,
Since no one considers you in their list, you snatch love even without a mention.

I’ve also realised that your beauty is the most pristine vision one can aspire,
The love which drops from it is worth putting life over fire.

People I used to admire never said a bad word about you after you showed them your scars,
I’ve seen them crying over your name in the bars.

So “Dear Death” I think I’ve started feeling for you. Someday I wish to be your beloved wife,
But before that there’s allot to be done. For now I’m in a committed relationship with life!

-Charul.

कुछ ख़याल ऐसे भी…

I wrote this poem recently. Generally all my works are in English but after a really long time something struck me and eventually I started penning my emotions in Hindi. I really hope to create some nifty content in Hindi as well in the future.

The poem goes like this…

All reviews are cordially invited.

Cheers!❤

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